We humans have devised many a creative way to protect our beloved brains:

Helmets.

Sombreros.

Literature.

The options range wider than Michael Phelps’ wing span.

But once Winter rears its snuggly head, that myriad of choices invariably dwindles down to a single species of hat.

We call them Beanies. Unfortunately.

The extent of your experience atop a snowboard matters not. When the temperature drops lower than a dancer in a Ludacris video, nothing seems to beat a fortress of yarn hugging your cranium.

Sure. Fine. Fantastic. BUT. Answer me this: As we’re in the midst of the one time of year where it’s most acceptable to resemble a human disco ball, would it not behoove us to embrace the idea of recreational hat-wear?

Take a look at this sucker:

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In addition to making you the most interesting person at any given holiday party, a bedazzled cowboy hat is not without its sensibilities. Just think of the protective features. Rogue walnut shells zooming past your face won’t stand a chance against that wide brim. And the reflective power of that gold trim? Unwelcome male predators will be deflected, and possibly blinded. for good. 

Here’s my piece of advice: Should you choose to let this piece inspire your holiday attire, keep the cow-woman-off-duty look contained to the upper portion of your head. We’re treading in perilous waters here; any more rodeo-showgirl glitz in the mix and you may find yourself being mercilessly recruited by Las Vegas talent agents.

And you have no time for such things. It’s the holidays.

 

This vintage red hat came in at about $13 from a lovely second-hand shop called Uptown Cheapskate. There are several locations nationwide, but I found my inner Cheapskate in Austin, TX.

The featured faux-leopard trimmed blazer is DIOR and extracted about $7 from my wallet. Thrift. Mania.

That polka-dot silk blouse? $3 at an estate sale.

Jeans: Citizens of Humanity purchased long ago during the dark days in which I worked at Anthropologie. The shoes are even older, dating back to my high school years. I think I may have purchased them at Nordstrom. Perhaps.

The photos you see here were taken by the extraordinary Austin-based photographer Steve Ingenito of Country Sleep Photography. Find his work on Instagram  and Facebook  and take a gander at his Website