Welcome to this episode of Pimp Your Shoe with your host, The Garbage Lady.

What’s that? There’s an elephant looming in the corner of my blogosphere?

Ah. Yes. That would be my horrendous walking utensils. Let’s forge ahead and lay it all out there, shall we? My feet have more cracks than Indiana Jones’ whip and I atrociously forgot to clear away the last remnants of a pedicure that was administered oh, I dunno, four or five weeks ago.

Guilty. I apologize. Next slide.

On the other hand (emmm, foot), today’s doctored up heels are brazenly remorseless about their crafty nature. If each SS16 runway happened to be a hotel, many a shoe, along with its accoutrements, would prove to be quite the eccentric guest. At Gucci, Sir Spikes and Snakes is naked in the pool. Run over to Hotel Pucci and Madame Feathers is draining the bar of its gin supply and launching into a strident rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. Take a peek into Dolce and Gabbana and you’ll receive a gander at the infamous Pom Pom Queen sliding down the banister.

Gimme some of that Kool-Aid, please and thank you.

Hotel Garbage Lady currently houses a slightly more tame but nevertheless saucy guest. And rumor has it she plans to stay a while.


Want in on the fun? Grab a pair of shoes with a nice tall and thick heel. Think Shaquille O’neal, not Selena Gomez. The next step all depends on your fancy. I went the Gucci route and hot-glued some faux-pearls and a somewhat snake-esque piece of upholstery trimming onto each thrifted foot-mobile. But I hear a certain Madame Feathers may be planning a trip to The Garbage Pile sometime soon.

The shoes are thrifted Anyi Lu and rendered me about $5.00 poorer.