Ah, Winter. The callous reminder that we homo sapiens originated in Africa. Near the equator.  

Today, though the seasonal sprouting of Polar Bear-like fur would have been nice, I’m here to remind you of two of the many wonderful ways in which our ancestors did us a genetic solid.

  1. Bipedalism. All the better to dance with, my dear!
  2. The ability to digest alcohol.  

Here’s how you’re going to put those things to their best use:

Firstly, you’re going to make like Martha Stewart and put on some jams. Those of groovy Denver-based band Mama Magnolia , to be specific. Now. Be fair warned, do NOT listen to this band if you do NOT like:

*Supple melodies that will make you want to reenact at least one scene from Dirty Dancing

*Well-trained musicians

*Hip horn lines tighter than a One Direction member’s pants

*Vocals smooth and soothing like honey on a sore throat, but tenacious and inspiring when the music heats up

*The funkiest of rhythm sections, guaranteed to help you booty shake your way through some of those holiday-induced pounds  

*Soulful, compassionate music that is brazenly vulnerable and manages to be sensuous without being vulgar, a welcome addition to an often emotionally stunted music industry in which a song called “Rack City” exists

Onward to the booze.

Mama Magnolia chose a drink that, in my opinion, is a spa in a cup. But here, instead of futilely placing cucumbers over your eyes, we’re going to muddle them with alcohol. Much more effective!

The cucumber gin and tonic is a drink almost as refreshing as the Mama Magnolia tunes themselves. And it’s simple to make. Place a few slices of cucumber in the bottom of a shaker. Muddle them, but don’t be too aggressive about it. Pour in two ounces of gin and one ounce of tonic syrup. Don’t listen to Taylor Swift; shake it up, not off. Fill a glass with ice, pour in your new mixture and add about four ounces of soda water. Swirl. Toss in a few decorative pieces of cucumber, should it strike your fancy.

You’re done! And cool as a gin-soaked cuke. 

Here’s how you’re going to find out more about Mama Magnolia:

Website

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Reverbnation

Soundcloud

EPK

AND you can check out this Youtube video for more tunes.