Your swimsuits texted me; they miss you.

Take all the time you need to process that image, but come right back! We have crucial matters to discuss.

First of all, on a scale of one to a cow with influenza, how utterly sick of your winter wardrobe are you? If you’re feeling nauseous, due to either the thought of another yarn-cage encasing your shoulders or my pun, there’s solace in the fact that you, at least, didn’t just spend thirty seconds typing “do cows get the flu” into your Google search engine.

(…they do.)

We’re finally down to the last few weeks of freezing, windy assaults to the face and skin more cracked than the final chapter of a Sherlock Holmes novel. At this point, you’ve probably tried every layering option under the currently rude and unhelpful sun.

*Cue close up of a pile of swimsuits staring longingly at you from the dark corner of the closet where you stored your vintage Levi cutoffs, your bandeau tops, and your positive outlook on life.*

Fix your gaze upon the human parfait below:

Your one-piece has been waiting patiently all winter to break into its standout role as “Body Suit #4” in your wardrobe’s new production of “My Fair Layers”. As the astute director you are, you know to pair this baby with a silk, bold-pattered top in a contrasting color. No silk or worms on hand? Improvise with a thin fabric that’ll act like your Sunday night dinner: Seamless. The pants? Anything high waisted will do. I highly recommend sprinkling this getup with as many gold accessories as possible. Just to match that million-watt smile of yours.

Okay, I’m done now.

The photos you’re peering at were taken by Sam Bufalo. Take a look at “Sam Bufalo Photography” on Facebook or find her work at

The gold cuff I’m wearing here is made from recycled cans, which is neat. Be sure to look up Canned Goods Co.