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Happy Hour Is Calling. No, But Really.
*Beep* Heyyyyyyyyyayayayayayayayyyyyyyyayay. *Hiccup* It’s ME your Happy Hour! *Chortle* I’ve been thinking. Let’s CHANGE this stupid dumb name they gave me. Nobody likes HAPPY if people liked HAPPY they wouldn’t watch TV shows called “Naked and Afraid” or “Fear Factor” or “Sister Wives”. Let’s make this INTERESTING. I did a list of namer changer…
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My Gold Jacket Is Thrilled To Meet You
…Oh HELLO there! I almost didn’t see you. Being the brightest Gold Jacket in the world has its downsides, one of them being that sometimes my admirers are obstructed by my shine. What an AUspicious day for you, meeting me like this. I’m thrilled for you! You must have so many questions. Ah, I see.…
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Justin Timberlake Is My Sartorial Therapist
Justin Timberlake: Wait a minute, you ready, JT? The Garbage Lady, née Jennie Thwaites: To sing a resounding duet with you at the Superbowl this year? Born ready, Timberlake. Shall we rehearse now? I’ll lead the vocal warm ups. WEEEEEEEHOOOOOOOO. HAWERRGGGGGGGGGGGH. BAHHHHHHHHHBAHHHBAHHH. ermf Timberlake: … Garbage Lady: You’re right, it’s a poor idea. I remember what happened last time…
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Thanksgiving Hack: Wear a Tent
I’m taking several preemptive measures this Thanksgiving. Gym in the morning. Viewing of MTV’s “True Life”: I’m a Competitive Eater. For inspiration. An outfit that is festive, yet hangs as far away from my body as sartorially possible. I can’t think straight when my clothing suddenly aspires to be an anaconda and attempts to strangle…
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Coat Remedy
Fall is the season of change. The leaves to orange, the air to crisp and my smile to a grimace. I don’t hide my dislike for the cold. But I do find solace in pieces of clothing that have purposes other than keeping my internal organs from freezing solid. This year, I’ve found two new…
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Sartorial Problem Solving and Fast Fashion Rehab: An Interview with Tara St. James of Study NY
I’ve begun to see a bit of the reason we have so much wrongdoing here on earth. All too often, doing the right thing takes work. Telling your Mother you accidentally knocked over her priceless antique vase is a far more daunting task than simply lying about it and walking away is easier than going…